I was approached by a salon business coach who had great products that were really working for many salon and beauty businesses but was struggling to attract new people with his existing sales pages. He asked me to look at the first-course sales page, inviting people to book a call with him. He said that 50% of people who booked the call would enrol in the course, but that it was getting the call which was proving difficult.

Reading through the words and phrases that had been used to promote the coaching masterminds – which were high end, professionally focused training – it wasn’t clear HOW they would help his potential clients, or even who the perfect client was.

I explained that I felt the copy was confusing and that there were grammatical errors that would certainly have put me off spending a lot of money on a professional training course. My advice was:

If you have a perfect client in mind, I would want to aim those pages right at what their needs are. Thinking about why they are working hard and not getting a work-life balance. Are they scared to let go of control? How do they get staff in they trust enough to be able to release the reins a bit? They are going to be high achieving, driven people who want to see results, so HOW do you plan to do that for them? Are you teaching from your own experience? If so, give them examples. Tell them what you achieved. And how you helped others.”

I asked him to tell me a bit more about himself, his experience and his business. Who did he want to sign up for his mastermind training? What would they expect? What would it do for them, and how? What effort would they need to put in, and could they expect results quickly? If so, did he have any testimonials?

We agreed I would focus the copy on successful business owners who find it hard to take a step away from the everyday salon running because they don’t know that they can trust their staff to be able to ‘get on with it’ while they are out of the picture. What would they need to know to pique their interest in training like this? Coaching isn’t cheap and it would need to be a worthwhile investment that they could believe in.

I created a page that included words and phrases that would appeal to the target audience he had in mind – the course wasn’t for start-up salons but for owners wanting to step away from the everyday running to focus on growing the business. Phrases like ‘work-life balance’, ‘take your business up a gear’, and ‘successful’ were mixed in with an upbeat, encouraging “I’ve been where you are” style narrative to make the reader feel understood and trust that this training would help them achieve their business goals.

The client was delighted with the results and although the page design has been altered, he’s been using the same successful copy to attract new clients since 2016.